Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Dear Miss Screamy McScreamerson

Warning: this entry concerns the sexual escapades of the young woman living on the floor below me and my thoughts on her rather inconsiderate screaming. Stop here if you do not wish to read.

Here is the letter I'd like to write (in english) to this gal.

Dear Miss Screamy McScreamerson,

Hearing your cries of passion at 10/11pm at night while I was reading in bed were rather comical, but just last night, those screams woke me from my sleep at 4am and well; that just ain't cool. Therefore, I have a few words for you.

You live on the floor below me, and not even directly below me. There is no reason that I should be able to hear you. And if I can hear you, then everyone in the building can. I am clearly not the only person you are bothering.

Also, who the hell sounds like that? What's with the screaming kiddo? Is your partner really that good....or are you taking the faking thing a little too far. You start off with the regular old sex noises: the panting, the moaning, but then you just start screaming. Seriously, stuff a pillow over your face. People are trying to sleep.

And last, but not least. We get it. You are getting sexed multiple times a day. Good for you. Hope your tiny bed doesn't break. But for all the rest of us not having screaming orgasms on a regular basis, please stop rubbing it in.

Thank you and have a pleasant day

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